remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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