Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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