Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
