Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
