Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
