So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
