So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
