and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
