I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
