Im at strip club and am horny
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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