I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
