Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
