didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
