if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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