Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
