don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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