i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Randomize
