woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
