New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
