Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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