my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
