zippers are such a cool invention
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
