I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
