she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
God I need to hump something, right now.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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