im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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