He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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