I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
