Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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