Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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