I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
