How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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