we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
