called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
