I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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