I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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