He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
