I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
