I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
