it hurts more in the daytime
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I think a kid would responsible me up
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
