that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
