They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
