he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
