There was a lot of him and a little penis
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
