scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
