It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
