my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
