weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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