You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
