My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
