I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
